Friday, September 08, 2006

Miss Boer Spring 1997






Retrospection

This was the Miss Boer Contest in the Spring of 1997. As you can see, I made sort of a half-assed effort (like everything else in my life). I put on a dress, but didn't feel like make-up or hair styling. So I just put on a Bandana and said I was a Russian peasant woman. If you look closely or enlarge the pictures, you might notice Brett and the other boys are a little more dolled up than I am, so that's why. I'm thinking of writing a book called, "Joel Swagman's Half assed guide to cross Dressing." Or maybe, "The Lazy Man's Guide to Looking Effeminate."

There were 2 parts: a walk way introduction, and a talent. During the introduction, I was asked what invention I think would make the world a better place. Not having a lot of time to think, I simply answered, "A submarine that can go overland". The theory being if the sailors can see land from time to time, it would alieveiate some of their deep sea craziness, and make them less likely to push the red button.

I was lucky for our talent, because Brett Cecil, Dave, Kevin and I all did our song "Curds and Whey" for a combined talent. It is a song we made up one late night in the dorms. I was lead vocal, which might be horrifying to those people who have heard me from the karaoke booth, but not being able to play guitar there wasn't a lot else I could do. Plus "Curds and Whey" was more of a talking blues type song that didn't demand a lot vocally.

Originally I planned to do the song in a high pitched girl's voice like we had all done the introduction and questions in. However when the actual time for the song came, I got stage fright and just did it in my normal voice.

Despite this poor showing, I still ended up getting second place in the contest. I guess people must have thought I looked good in a dress.

If memory serves, there was no "Miss Boer Contest" my sophmore year. Rumor has it some parents complained, and that was the end of another fine Calvin tradition.

Useless Wikipedia Fact
For its time, the film "The Dirty Dozen" was an unconventional and extremely violent depiction of war. Roger Ebert, in his first year as a movie critic for the Chicago Sun-Times wrote :
"I'm glad the Chicago Police Censor Board forgot about that part of the local censorship law where it says films shall not depict the burning of the human body. If you have to censor, stick to censoring sex, I say. ... But leave in the mutilation, leave in the sadism, and by all means leave in the human beings burning to death. It's not obscene as long as they burn to death with their clothes on."


Link of the Day
Tall people earn more because they're smarter.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, Joel!
I came across your blog...those pics are great! I showed them to Paul, and he said he definitely remembered the Miss Boer contest. He said he especially remembered you really clearly and that you were hilarious! Fun memories!
-Kellie Steen

Joel Swagman said...

Kellie, how are you guys? I've been asking around since I got back, and everyone told me Kellie and Paul dropped off the face of the earth since they moved out to Ann Arbor

SN said...

Joel--you do not need make-up. you make a beautiful woman without it ;)

SN said...

actually...taking a second look, brett is really the ugliest girl i've ever seen. his dress is especially marmish...

Whisky Prajer said...

Have you settled on one of these for your blogger profile? (Nice cup size, btw)

Rob said...

Lol, awesome. Wow, that was almost ten years.

I remember Tubes was doing push-ups to beef up his arms before going out there.

Good thing nobody brought a camera when we streaked dorm road, eh Chewbs?

Anonymous said...

omg! I'm disappointed there was no Miss Boer competition your sophmore year - I would have LOVED to see it. Although I do remember a time or two where you were dressed up as a girl - are you sure you didn't put your heart and soul into this?
mg

PS - Hi Kellie!