Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Youtube Videos Authentic Listening: How to Say No Politely | Good Manners


I originally designed this listening to lead in to a lesson on how to say no politely in English (for the Lifestyle Intermediate textbook).  But perhaps it can also be used on its own.  
It is designed around this youtube video here.  The PowerPoint Presentation is embedded below, and on Google here (drive, slides, pub).  The transcript is on Google here (drive, docs, pub), and below.
I also used another video for this lesson, in order to lead in to this video--How to Say No When People Ask for a Favour.  (Which I guess makes it a lead-in to a lead-in).  This other video is more or less just for fun.  It's from Singapore, so first I have the students discuss what they know about the features of Singlish (Singaporean English).  And then have them discuss what the features of Singlish are.  Then I show them the video, and ask them how much of it (if any) they could understand.  Then I ask them if they can guess what the topic for today's lesson is.





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1Brw7X-oIo
Imagine someone invites you out to dinner, but you don’t want to go.  What would you say?  What do you think most people in your country would say in this situation?


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Watch the video.  A woman, Faye de Muyshondt, is going to give advice on refusing invitations.  Do you agree or disagree with this advice.  Would this advice work in your country?


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Listen again.  Answer these questions.
1).  According to Faye de Muyshondt, it’s okay to refuse a request.  The important this is that you do what?
2).  According to Faye de Muyshondt, if the invitation comes from someone you don’t want to hang out with, what should you say?
3).  According to Faye de Muyshondt, if the invitation does come from someone you want to hang out with or go on a date with, but you can’t make it for that night, what should you say?
4). According to Faye de Muyshondt,  why is it a bad idea to make something up in order to refuse a request?



Vocabulary
1. evade_____

2. flat out_____

3. genuinely_____

4. handle_____

5. hang out_____

6.are inclined to_____

7. I appreciate it_____

8. make something up_____

9. social media_____

10. white lie_____
A. really; for real

B. to invent an excuse, a story, et cetera, often in order to deceive

C. to spend a lot of time in a place or with someone

D. lie that is told in order to be polite or to stop someone from being upset by the truth

E. completely; used for emphasis

F. to avoid or escape from someone or something

G. websites and computer programs that allow people to communicate and share information on the internet using a computer or mobile phone.  For example, Facebook

H. to deal with, have responsibility for, or be in charge of

I. to feel something or want to do something

J. used when you are thanking someone or showing that you are grateful




Write in the missing words.  These will be the same vocabulary words you have just studied.
Hi. I'm Faye de Muyshondt from Social Skills here to teach you how to say no to an invitation or a request. So this is a—this is a tricky topic, and I find that a lot of people get into the position where they feel like they need to tell a little (1) ____________, which is absolutely not necessary.  So if you’re to get, uh, an invitation, and you're not able to attend or you don't want to attend, you can easily say, "No, but thank you very much for this lovely invitation." Just be sure that you actually respond, because so many people get into the position where they don't know how to handle saying no, so they actually don't respond. Be sure that you respond. And saying no is absolutely fine. In fact, saying no is one of the most important things that-that you can do in your lifetime. Not all of us can say yes to everything, and being able to say no is very empowering.

So let's say that you get an invitation to (2) ____________ with someone. Someone calls you to hang out, and you just really don't want to hang out with this person. What I would suggest saying is, "Thanks so much for the invitation. I— I'm not able to go, uh but I hope—I hope you have a really good time." Or, "Thanks so much for the invitation. (3) ____________, but I'm—I’m not able to be there today." So if it's a situation where you—you really do (4) ____________ want to hang out with this person or—or go out on a date with this person, you might say, "No. I can't. I've got plans tonight. But I'd love to set up another time that we could meet or hang out." Uh, that just shows that you're interested in spending time with this person and not (5) ____________ saying no to the person.

So there's easy ways to (6) ____________ how to say no to an invitation or a request. But most importantly be sure that you say no and don't (7) ____________ handling the situation that you're saying no to, and that—that you say it and mean it. So often people (8) ____________—to (9) ____________ as to why they can't be somewhere or be able to manage a request from someone else. But these days with (10) ____________, it's so easy to get caught in those little white lies. So I absolutely don't suggest, uh, making anything up. Just say no. We all need to say no every now and again, and we can't make it to everything. Throughout our lives we'll be asked to—to go places, to do things. We'll be asked to do so many things for other people. And it's really important to just be able to say no.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1Brw7X-oIo
Transcript:

Hi. I'm Faye de Muyshondt from Social Skills here to teach you how to say no to an invitation or a request. So this is a—this is a tricky topic, and I find that a lot of people get into the position where they feel like they need to tell a little white lie, which is absolutely not necessary.  So if you’re to get, uh, an invitation, and you're not able to attend or you don't want to attend, you can easily say, "No, but thank you very much for this lovely invitation." Just be sure that you actually respond, because so many people get into the position where they don't know how to handle saying no, so they actually don't respond. Be sure that you respond. And saying no is absolutely fine. In fact, saying no is one of the most important things that-that you can do in your lifetime. Not all of us can say yes to everything, and being able to say no is very empowering.

So let's say that you get an invitation to hang out with someone. Someone calls you to hang out, and you just really don't want to hang out with this person. What I would suggest saying is, "Thanks so much for the invitation. I— I'm not able to go, uh but I hope—I hope you have a really good time." Or, "Thanks so much for the invitation. I appreciate it, but I'm—I’m not able to be there today." So if it's a situation where you—you really do genuinely want to hang out with this person or—or go out on a date with this person, you might say, "No. I can't. I've got plans tonight. But I'd love to set up another time that we could meet or hang out." Uh, that just shows that you're interested in spending time with this person and not flat-out saying no to the person.

So there's easy ways to handle how to say no to an invitation or a request. But most importantly be sure that you say no and don't evade handling the situation that you're saying no to, and that—that you say it and mean it. So often people are inclined to—to make something up as to why they can't be somewhere or be able to manage a request from someone else. But these days with social media, it's so easy to get caught in those little white lies. So I absolutely don't suggest, uh, making anything up. Just say no. We all need to say no every now and again, and we can't make it to everything. Throughout our lives we'll be asked to—to go places, to do things. We'll be asked to do so many things for other people. And it's really important to just be able to say no.

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