Tuesday, October 29, 2013

From Salon.com

Lee Harvey Oswald’s lonely childhood: No one imagined he’d kill the president 

 Either this is deliberately meant to be tongue-in-cheek, or this is possibly the worst headline writing of all time.
Even assuming adult anti-social behavior can be predicted from childhood, killing the president is a rather specific thing to ask anyone to have imagined.
Is it supposed to be news that when Lee Harvey Oswald was a boy, nobody predicted he would kill the President?
Are we supposed to be surprised that his neighbors weren't sitting on porch watching him come home from school and saying to each other: "Mark my words Tom, one of these days that boy's going to kill the president."

Other Salon.com article title ideas:
The lonly childhood of Christopher Columbus: His childhood neighbors never imagined he'd one day accidentally discover a continent while searching for a trade route to India
Edward II's Childhood: None of his childhood friends ever guessed he'd one day be killed by having hot pokers shoved up his anus. 
Joan of Arc's Childhood: None of her teachers ever imagined she'd one day be burned at the stake.
Robespierre's Childhood: When they were kids, none of his school friends ever imagined he'd one day unleash a reign of terror on the country.
....That's all I've got for now.  Other ideas?

Update: Some of Salon.com's commenters are already ahead of me in pointing out the absurdity of this headline:
There's a word for a person who looks at a child and says "I imagine that someday he will kill a president": Crazy.

It's like how nobody looks at you and suspects you will one day shoot the Orelanist Dauphin. 

“Phil in the photocopy dept has a funny look about him. Think he may intend the Assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand. Tell HR.”

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