I took this essay from this website here:
I've made some minor adjustments to it.
The essay looks good to me, but I'm not an IELTS examiner, so everyone else should use it with caution.
http://lang-8.com/633752/journals/256082766377521446324290502696092278372
Discuss with a partner:
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Discuss with a partner:
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Discuss with a partner:
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Discuss with a partner:
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Discuss with a partner:
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Discuss with a partner:
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Discuss with a partner:
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Discuss with a partner:
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
http://lang-8.com/633752/journals/256082766377521446324290502696092278372
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Match the words to the blanks. In some cases, more than one answer will be possible:
an example, as a result, despite, despite, for example, however, in conclusion, on the other hand, secondly
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There is a general consensus that had the world been governed by female leaders, as opposed to their male counterparts, mankind would have achieved a more peaceful life. (1)________________, this essay is written to discuss why that belief is unfounded and that the relationship between gender and peace is suspect.
There is no point denying that males have always been perceived as more aggressive, ambitious and violent than the opposite gender. Women, (2)________________, traditionally face the ingrained belief that they have to be more caring and gentle in their nature. (3)________________, it is understandable why people think that if more women are to elected to top positions in the government, the world will be a more peaceful place.
(4)________________ how widespread these opinions are, it should be emphasized that a leader’s decision is rarely a product of personal dispositions but a reflection of the collective needs of the whole society. Often, politicians formulate a policy mostly according to public opinion with the intent of gaining support from their community. (5)________________, the rise of Adolf Hitler and his attempt to colonize Europe reflected more a common desire shared by the German people than his own personal will. (6)________________, there is no guarantee that women when given the power and authority will be any less violent and aggressive. (7)________________ of a woman leader who was every bit as aggressive as her male colleagues is Margaret Thatcher, who was the former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and responsible for leading a war against Argentina to settle an international dispute.
(8)________________, the belief that women should be better peace-makers than men when they are in leading positions is fallacious. (9)________________ common conceptions about the natural characteristics of each gender, a link between gender and aggression is yet to be proven.
Answers:
There is a general consensus that had the world been governed by female leaders, as opposed to their male counterparts, mankind would have achieved a more peaceful life. (1)However, this essay is written to discuss why that belief is unfounded and that the relationship between gender and peace is suspect.
There is no point denying that males have always been perceived as more aggressive, ambitious and violent than the opposite gender. Women, (2)on the other hand, traditionally face the ingrained belief that they have to be more caring and gentle in their nature. (3)As a result, it is understandable why people think that if more women are to elected to top positions in the government, the world will be a more peaceful place.
(4)Despite how widespread these opinions are, it should be emphasized that a leader’s decision is rarely a product of personal dispositions but a reflection of the collective needs of the whole society. Often, politicians formulate a policy mostly according to public opinion with the intent of gaining support from their community. (5)For example, the rise of Adolf Hitler and his attempt to colonize Europe reflected more a common desire shared by the German people than his own personal will. (6)Secondly, there is no guarantee that women when given the power and authority will be any less violent and aggressive. (7)An example of a woman leader who was every bit as aggressive as her male colleagues is Margaret Thatcher, who was the former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and responsible for leading a war against Argentina to settle an international dispute.
(8)In conclusion, the belief that women should be better peace-makers than men when they are in leading positions is fallacious. (9)Despite common conceptions about the natural characteristics of each gender, a link between gender and aggression is yet to be proven.
http://lang-8.com/633752/journals/256082766377521446324290502696092278372
Throughout history, male leaders often made the society more violent and conflicting. If women governed the world, the world would be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Introduction//Writer states their own opinion
1st Body Paragraph:
Acknowledge the other side of the issue
2nd Body Paragraph:
Writer argues their own views
Conclusion:
Writer summarizes their views
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There is a general consensus that had the world been governed by female leaders, as opposed to their male counterparts, mankind would have achieved a more peaceful life. However, this essay is written to discuss why that belief is unfounded and that the relationship between gender and peace is suspect.
There is no point denying that males have always been perceived as more aggressive, ambitious and violent than the opposite gender. Women, on the other hand, traditionally face the ingrained belief that they have to be more caring and gentle in their nature. As a result, it is understandable why people think that if more women are to elected to top positions in the government, the world will be a more peaceful place.
Despite how widespread these opinions are, it should be emphasized that a leader’s decision is rarely a product of personal dispositions but a reflection of the collective needs of the whole society. Often, politicians formulate a policy mostly according to public opinion with the intent of gaining support from their community. For example, the rise of Adolf Hitler and his attempt to colonize Europe reflected more a common desire shared by the German people than his own personal will. Secondly, there is no guarantee that women when given the power and authority will be any less violent and aggressive. An example of a woman leader who was every bit as aggressive as her male colleagues is Margaret Thatcher, who was the former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and responsible for leading a war against Argentina to settle an international dispute.
In conclusion, the belief that women should be better peace-makers than men when they are in leading positions is fallacious. Despite common conceptions about the natural characteristics of each gender, a link between gender and aggression is yet to be proven.
(305 words)
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