Sunday, November 18, 2007

Battling Poets: May 2, 2000 E-mail


From the e-mail vault, here is a little poetry exchange between me and Jared English. The first e-mail from Jared was a mass e-mail sent out to everyone in our group of friends. (Or, I don't know, did someone hi-jack his e-mail account and send it out for him? Given the strangeness of this e-mail, I could easily be talked into believing that. On the other hand, given Jared's sense of humor I could go either way. Does anyone want to confess to ghost writing this).
At any rate, I decided it merited a response, and replied to everyone with my own poetry below.

We'll start with Jared's:

Yo You Ma to all ya funka-delicks. This is the muffin comin' at you live from freakville 35 chi.

The guys of Chi 35 real rock
and I just knocked out a clock
Sometimes I like to clean docks
because I am scared of the chicken pocks
This rhyming has really gone to far
But I frisbee golf I like to get par
Now I am going to say Vale!
to make sure you cheer Pele.

P.S. Vale in Latin means Goodbye

P.P.S. Hope Reaks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.P.P.S. I have no underwear on right now.

P.P.P.P.S. Have a merry Valentine's Day and a happy Purim...God Bless all the the little rabbits out there. I think I am being spoken to by a higher being; oh wait, I was just getting high on Dean's fumes.

Because I am the master of the Universe,

My response:

Here is my own try at poetry, based on personal experience:
Brett Nelson's on the phone
Even though he's all alone,
He's trying to get a date
With a girl who owns real estate (that means she lives off campus)
He asked her out to eat
Just to get a little treat (dessert as opposed to a whole meal)
He's invited me along
And I know it won't be wrong
Sara Schipper's a nice gal
So I'll just go along as a pal
I hope things go good for Brett
But no need to Fret
Ask me tomorrow how it goes
I don't keep secrets very well


PS-Based on a true story

Bonus: Below are all the nicknames Jared used when sending out this e-mail. See if you can guess which nicknames go with who.

Doug Moo, 1.21 Jigowatts of energy, Buck Wild, Cant make it for lunch, Citric gospel female/male, Devil with a blue dress on, Dr. Godbert MD, Forgot how to walk, Gortex, Hen Hao Nan Ren, JEB, Mattress, Mentos Mama, stuffed shells...PASTA...noodles, Private, Rump McFly, Shalom to you!, maniac she's a maniac, Squints, THE BASS, the freakiest of the freakland, The Jedi, THE REAL KNIGHT, undee man, YOSHI, Tatt Muckey

Link of the Day
Trapped by Their Own Militarism? Democrats Bare Their Back for the American Right


Maria said...

Well - my nickname is there, but I have no recollection of getting this email. I did not write it though. Wish I could claim I did.

Anonymous said...

I don't recall this email either, although I do recall my other nickname on the list. Hmmm... do you mind if I steal this email and send it to Jared?

ジョエル said...

To be perfectly honest I didn't remember this e-mail either until I found it going through some old e-mails. Everytime I go through old e-mails or journal entries I have this experience. I'm convinced we forgot about 80 % of our life.

Guamo, by all means forward this on to Jared, and see what he remembers.

Anonymous said...

From Jared...

Some parts appear to have been written by me. I have been known to be crazy. But here are my arguments against its authenticity:

- I hated the name Muffin. Why would I ever refer to myself as such?
- Why on earth would I have called Chi 35 freakville?
- I would definitely have said Chi 35, not 35 chi.
- I have no idea what Purim is.
- Only Dean or you would have taught me the word vale. Was Dean standing next to me while I wrote this, that is, if I did indeed write it?


Anonymous said...

I, unfortunately, happen to have a vague recollection of these e-mails. Either that or else Jared was in the habit of regularly informing us of his underwear use (or lack thereof)--because that's the part I remember most clearly. I have this strange feeling that my poor husband was, indeed, "undee man" (possibly due to that infamous and disturbing episode Reeds Lake?). Though I could be wrong. Let's hope so.


ジョエル said...

All interesting points by Jared. All I can say is that I can assure everyone I didn't make up that message (not that I felt anyone was accusing me, just to make sure). It did arrive in my inbox one afternoon, the only question is whether or not someone hi-jacked Jared's e-mail account or not.

Kelly, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your husband's e-mail address was indeed the one tagged with the "Undee Man" moniker. And I thought it was in reference to the Reeds Lake incident myself until...I double checked the dates, and according to my journal the Reeds Lake incident occured on May 6 and this e-mail was dated May 2nd. Did I somehow get the dates mixed up? Was there another Underwear incident preceding the one at Reeds Lake? Can anyone shed light on this?

Anonymous said...

I want more dirt on the "Reeds Lake Incident." Do tell.

ジョエル said...

Follow the link in my comment above. Direct your attention to the part dealing with Paul's underwear.

Anonymous said...

The origination, according to Paul, is that one day Jared just starting calling him "undee man." (This was quite some time before the infamous mass-emailing of poetry.) When Paul questioned him about this new nickname, Jared replied, "You know...'cause you're the 'undee man'" as though he and Paul both knew exactly what he was talking about, like there was some incident they both knew he was refering to. To this day, Paul has no idea and is quite sure that Jared made it up out of thin air.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that was from me, by the way...

ジョエル said...

there you go folks. another one of life's mysteries cleared up right here on this blog!