Have you ever seen someone else's small child in a restaurant and started making faces at it to make it smile? Well, I, Joel Swagman, always try doing this. The other night I, Joel Swagman, living in Japan, made a child cry. Ooops! The family didn't know who was sitting in the adjacent booth making faces, so they got up and looked at me. I acted like I had no clue what was going on (sort of reminds me of Ralphie in "A Christmas Story" when the teacher is looking for culprits to blame for Flick's tongue being stuck to the pole). This one guy stood up and sat down at least 3 times to get a good look at me. I imagine his thought process was:

"Who's making my baby cry?" Stand up. "Hey it's a foreigner". Sit down. "Well he cant make my baby cry. Who does he think he is?" Stand up. Scowl. Sit down. "I wonder how big his nose is." Stand up. "No wonder the baby cried". Sit down.

Ok, maybe not. But I imagine it couldn't have been much different. :-)