The Ups and Downs

A lot of people who have been reading this blog often say to me, “Boy, sounds like you’re not doing too well in Japan.”

My standard response is, “I have good days and bad days. The bad days tend to make it onto the blog a lot more.”

In fact even within a typical day, I have a lot of ups and downs. I realize that’s probably typical of life in any situation.

Anyway, I thought I’d present a day in the life as a case in point of the ups and downs.

This past Tuesday I was at the elementary school. We’ve begun teaching about Halloween, which is always a lot of fun.

My supervisor came to observe me, and I suppose it goes without saying that no one likes to be observed. But what I really like about my company is that I don’t feel that they’re trying to crack down on me with the observations, only offer helpful suggestions.

For instance, being an “Assistant Language Teacher”, especially at the elementary schools, usually involves a lot of energy and jumping up and down and being dramatic in front of the class. This isn’t always me, and so often I feel bad that I have one of the easiest jobs in the world, and I still can’t do it very well.

But my supervisor focused on my strengths. “Schools want an ALT who can do everything and take over the whole lesson, but none of us are trained teachers.” (I actually have a degree in secondary history education, but not a lot of that carries over to ESL in elementary schools). “The important thing,” he said, “is just to bring what you can to the lesson. For instance you went around to all of the tables to talk to the kids, and interacted with them very well. And you looked like you were having fun doing it. Are you sure you want to leave in March?”

And all of a sudden I thought to myself: yeah, I was having a lot of fun. Maybe I do have another year left in me. And then the thought passed. “No, it’s a great job, but it’s time to go home,” I said. “Come March it will be almost 5 years in Japan.”

The rest of the day was pretty good. Once the observation lesson was over, I felt relieved and I could really get into the other lessons. Noon hour was a lot of fun playing with the kids. They always all swarm forward and hug me. I was a little squeamish about this because a lot of them have dirty hands or runny noses, but in the end if you work in an elementary school you just have to learn to ignore that stuff. Some of the kids wanted me to go to the library and read to them in English. I did that for a while, but I had also promised some of the 2nd grade students I would play soccer with them, so I left the library early.

I did get a few kanchos, as I do every time I go to the elementary school. I tried to deal with it sternly. I grabbed the kids and made them apologize them to me in English before I let them go. But Kanchos are like runny noses and dirty hands…It’s just something you have to deal with in an elementary school.

I kept busy most of the day, which I guess is good. It’s usually only when I have too much time to think that I get really depressed about how I’m wasting my life away in Japan.

It was only during 6th period, when I joined the sports club for a game of dodge ball, that my thoughts began to wonder. One of the reasons I never became a great athlete (aside from my utter lack of coordination, or athletic ability of course) is my inability to concentrate on sports. It just never has been able to hold my interest. I always use to find my thoughts wandering in PE class when I was a student, and it’s the same now.

As the dodgeballs flew past me, I began to reflect on how I was 27 years old now, and began to think of all the people who had done great things already by the time they were my age. The French Revolution was largely conducted by men in their mid-twenties. But then I let the thought go. Even if I wasn’t in Japan, I’m probably not the kind of person who would be doing great things anyway. I can barely run my own life.

After school I went back to my apartment. I thought about doing some push-ups or something. I’ve been trying to do more exercise lately. I’ve been getting out of shape recently, and my junior high school students and co-workers have even begun commenting on the gut I’m developing.

(Personally I don’t think it’s that bad. I think all the attention on my stomach is due to:
1) The fact that Japanese people are very skinny. If I were back in America no one would look twice.
2) I’ve gotten out of shape since I got to this school, and people, Japanese people especially, notice physical changes. If I had come into the school with the gut already, no one would have said anything.)

Anyway, I did a half-assed attempt at exercised, then began to feel lonely in my empty apartment. I called up a few friends. No one was around, so I just drove 30 minutes into Gifu city and went to the local Starbucks with a notebook to keep me company.

One thing I love about Japan: If you go to the right places, you’re sure to meet people you know. A place like Starbucks is a magnate for foreigners. I don’t know why because there are plenty of other coffee shops around, but I guess we all feel attracted to places that look familiar.

And it’s very easy to make friends. All of us foreigners have a feeling of being in this together, and everyone is usually pretty friendly. The ease with which social life comes together is another thing I’m going to miss about Japan.

I ordered a chocolate Rhumba, my usual order. I’m still not sure what it is exactly, but it has a lot of chocolate and whip cream and I think a bit of caffeine as well. I had barely sat down, when a couple of girls in high school uniforms walked in the door, and one of them began waving at me excitedly.

One of them was a former student who had graduated junior high school last March. I don’t usually expect to run into my students in Gifu city, but selecting a high school in Japan is like college in the US. They don’t automatically go to the school in the neighborhood; they can apply to any high school they like. Most of them stayed local, but some of them went to school around Gifu city.

The other girl was a new friend my student had made at the new high school. They were both very excited to see me, and came over to talk.

At the risk of sounding like I have a fragile ego (and I do), I really enjoy the “Charisma Man” popularity that being in Japan gives to me. They were so overjoyed to see me. It’s good to feel popular sometimes.

That being said, they did overstay their welcome somewhat. I deliberately avoided offering them a seat, because I thought they would just talk to me for a few minutes and go off by themselves. Instead, they ended up bringing their drinks over to my table and helping themselves to a seat. They stayed for over 3 hours (I checked my watch afterwards), and during that time I was slightly uncomfortable because people I knew were coming in and out of the Starbucks, and the last thing I needed was for people to think I was trying to chat up these high school girls. Maybe at some point I should have said suggested they move on to another table, but I couldn’t think of a polite way to do it. Near the end of the time, I managed to call my friend Adam over to our table to take some of the attention off of me.

And yet I really enjoyed talking to them. The conversation itself was somewhat banal, but I enjoyed the feeling that they were hanging onto my every word, and completely fascinated with what I had to say, and even considered it a privilege to be able to talk to me.

And at the same time, besides boosting my ego, I had the sense at times that I was doing good by helping them out with their English. My student had never talked at all in class, but now was showing incredible motivation to communicate with me, and using all the English she could. It took her a while to say some things, but she didn’t give up. I wish they could be like this in class, but it still is nice to see them motivated outside of class as well.

It reminded me of when I had first arrived in Ajimu, and went to the high school to help out with the “English Speaking Society”. The students there were always so excited to talk to me as well, which was why I enjoyed doing it.

I asked them why they had chosen their high school. One of them said because the school uniforms were very cute. “Yes, that’s a very important reason,” I said. Sarcasm doesn’t really exist in Japan, so they took me at face value. I thought it was funny though, because I had heard from other people that this was a standard reason for Japanese girls to select a high school.

They told me how they had met each other. Despite coming from different junior high schools, a teacher had been able to introduce them. My old student pointed at her friend, and said, “she is teacher’s favorite student. He likes her because she is so beautiful.” The student in question was embarrassed, and strongly denied it, but I believed it because it is not uncommon to see Japanese teachers show favoritism among their students. And she really was quite beautiful. She was only 16, but could have passed for much older.

But then the conversation took another turn, and I suddenly remembered how young the girls really were. We were talking about Japanese animation, and they mentioned the movie “Sen to Chihiro” (“Spirited Away” in English) and they remembered seeing the movie in the theaters when they were in 6th grade in elementary school.

That movie was new in Japan when I had first arrived. Which means these girls were the same age as my former 6th grade students when I had first arrived. And in the time that I’ve been in Japan they had graduated elementary school, graduated junior high school, and were now high school students. And the high school students I used to talk to in Ajimu were now all either graduated or halfway through University. And I was four years older as well, but what did I have to show for it? If my only purpose was to enjoy being popular in Japan, that’s not the kind of thing I can build on.

The girls eventually left. Adam and I went out for a bite to eat, and then called it a night. After being the object of so much fascination by the high school girls, I had a brief moment where I thought any girl I met on the street was mine for the taking if I only asked her name. But it doesn’t work that way. Although I like to believe that all girls think the same, high school girls are, for whatever reason, much easier to impress than girls my own age.

(I should mention that after writing this, I had two really boring days at the junior high school where I had a lot of time to question what I was doing with my life. And then I had a really fun weekend. The weekends are always good. You’ll never catch me complaining about the weekend. Perhaps its not so much Japan I’m tired of as just my job as an ALT. There’s only so long you can do a job like this for, and I think going into my 5th year now I’ve stretched it out to its limit.)

Link of the Day

Shout out to the old Calvin gang. My old Camelot Roommate (butterball) 's sister was interviewed on NPR. The link to NPR interview is here. Of course Butterball and the old gang can be seen here.