Old Friends, New Place

Last weekend I met up with Johnny and Greg, two old friends from Oita prefecture. Both are people I used to know in Japan, who have left and now come back. Johnny is now working at the Nagoya World Exposition, and Greg was just back to visit us.

I really don’t have any stories that are too exciting from the weekend. Greg caught the train to Gifu on Friday night and met up with me. We had some dinner, and then just hung around and reminisced about old times until the sun came up at 5 in the morning. We had plans to go hiking on Saturday, but the rain spoiled that, so we slept in till 2 and then spent the rest of the afternoon in restaurants, video arcades, and shopping centers. We met up with some friends of mine in Nagoya, and then met up with Johnny when he finished work. We crashed at Johnny’s place, and then Greg left the next morning.

Nevertheless, the weekend and time spent with the two did bring to mind several thoughts and emotions. The first just being the simple…
Realization that I had old friends in Japan

I guess I tend to regard my experience in Japan as just an extended working holiday, so it is weird to think that I have been here long enough not only to acquire friends, but now to have people I can put into the category of “old friends”.

For instance when I met Johnny I said, “It’s been two years since I’ve seen you last.” And then I thought to myself, “Wow, two years. And this is a friend from Japan. Just think of how long it has been since I’ve seen many of my college friends.” Time goes by so fast.

Since Greg is from England, the second thing I noticed was that…
I’m not as used to British English as I used to be.

For whatever reason, during my time in Oita most of my friends were either British, or from countries whose English was closer to British English than American (South Africa, New Zealand, Australia). There were a few notable exceptions of course, but for the most part it seemed like I spent a lot of time in Oita hanging out with British English speakers.

In Gifu, for whatever reason, the majority of my friends are now fellow Americans or Canadians. Again, a few notable exceptions, but I don’t feel like I’m exposed to the British English as much as I used to be. Listening to Greg I heard a lot of words and expressions I hadn’t heard for a long time. And, to the extent that my own speech patterns are easily influenced by the people around me, I myself began to use a lot of words and expressions I hadn’t used for a long time.

Some examples:

Superfluous use of expressions like “isn’t it?” or “wasn’t it?” or other expressions used to confirm the listener’s agreement. These expressions are used rhetorically without expecting a response on the part of the listener, in much the same way a Canadian will use the word “eh?”

Use the word “shag” as a euphemism for sexual intercourse. Before coming to Japan I thought this was just something invented by “Austin Powers”, but Brits really do use it.

Using the word “fit” to denote not physical stamina, but attractiveness in a person of the opposite sex.

Placing “Fuck me” at the beginning of a sentence to alert the listener that the information immediately following deserves to be emphasized.

Using the word “keen” to indicate an action one is inclined to do.

An example sentence might be: “Fuck me, that girl is fit, isn’t she? Be quite keen to shag her.”

(This is an abbreviated list of course. I suppose one could write a book on the differences between British and American English, but the above example sentence seems fairly typical of something that would pop up in our conversation walking around the streets of Nagoya.)

Third observation
Reverse Culture Shock and Things I’ll Miss About Japan

I’ve been a little down about Japan recently, and I’ve been taking it out on this blog a little. But it was interesting seeing Japan through Greg’s eyes, since he was someone who had been in Japan for a long time like me, but returned home last year. He talked about all of the things he had missed about Japan, and the troubles with returning home.

His stories about struggling to find employment, and deciding what he wanted to do with the rest of the life, reminded me that both of these things are awaiting me when I will return next March. And I’m dreading them both.

Also it sounded like Greg had gone through a bit of reverse culture shock over the last year. He talked about all the things he had missed about Japan. He mentioned how polite and friendly everyone was, and how easy it is in Japan to make friends. He talked about the JET parties we used to have, and the mix of different cultures that were always present. Even that night at the bar he observed how great it was that four different nationalities were represented at our small table.

Even things I had thought of as a negative, Greg put a positive face on. For instance I had previously been complaining about how vapid Japanese girls are. Stereotypes are dangerous of course, but it seemed to me that most Japanese girls were concerned only about shopping and fashion, and that it was impossible to have a meaningful conversation with many of them. But when we were at the bar, Greg pointed out to me the joy and energy that seemed to emanate from our female companions. “Isn’t it great how happy Japanese girls always are,” Greg said. “They’re always laughing and smiling. It really brings your spirits up just being around them. You never have that back home; everyone is so serious all the time. I’ve really missed that.” Looked at through Greg’s eyes, I thought that maybe it was something I was really going to miss as well.

I’ve been home on holiday 3 times since I came to Japan, but reverse culture shock doesn’t typically set in during short visits home. Reverse culture shock usually only hits you hard when you leave Japan with the knowledge that you are not coming back.

I was talking to Johnny’s roommate, who has also been in Japan and then left for a period. “I was thinking just last week that I couldn’t wait to get out of Japan,” I said. “But now after talking to Greg I’m really dreading reverse culture shock. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to stay in Japan, and I don’t want to go home.”

Johnny’s roommate put it in perspective for me. “The thing about reverse culture shock is just to know that it’s coming. When I first got back from Japan, I was totally unprepared for it. It messed me up for a long time. But if you realize in advance that it’s coming, then it’s not quite as much of a shock, and it won’t be as bad.”
Anyway, I’ve got another 8 months, so I guess it’s a little early to be worrying about it too much.