Advantages and Disadvantages Essay: Feedback and Advice

(TESOL Worksheets--Writing, Advantages and Disadvantages Essay) 

Google: drive, docs, pub

[This is a feedback sheet I used for my students who had to write an advantages and disadvantages essay.  It is based off of the common mistakes my students were making.  The third sheet (Linking Words and Phrases) is borrowed from a colleague.]

Introduction:

Work with a partner.  What mistakes can you find in the following essay:

Nowaday the Internet is becoming more and more popular all the time.  Many people use the internet everyday now.  However, using the Internet has many advantages and disadvantages.

There many advantages for using the Internet.   One advantage is that you can find information very easily using the Internet.   For example, you can use the Internet to find a lot of information.  On the other hand, the Internet is very useful for studying, and finding information.

There also many disadvantages to using the Internet  and although you can find lots of useful information, but it can also be a waste of time and especially  many people use the Internet too much these days, and will ruin their eyesight.  If we use the Internet too much, it will be bad for your eyesight.

In fact although there are many advantages and disadvantages to using the Internet, but I think the Internet has more advantages than disadvantages.  Using the Internet is very useful for us.

Advice for Writing:

            You will be given a topic.  Make sure your essay follows this structure.

·         1^st paragraph: Introduce the topic

·         2^nd paragraph: write about the advantages

·         3^rd paragraph: write about the disadvantages.

·         4^th paragraph: Write your own opinion

(You may switch paragraphs 2 and 3 if you like.)

Be sure to have 3 advantages and 3 disadvantages.  Make sure each of these three points is different.  Don’t write the same point twice using different words.  (For example don’t say: “Caring for children takes up a lot of time.  It also uses a lot of time.”)

It may help to do some planning before you start writing.  You may want to brainstorm ideas, or write down some advantages and disadvantages before you start writing.  For example if the topic is using the Internet, you may want to plan out your three advantages and disadvantages before you start writing, using the structure below.

 What are three disadvantages of the Internet?

1.      Disadvantage 1:__________________________________________________

2.      Disadvantage 2:__________________________________________________

3.      Disadvantage 3:__________________________________________________

What are three advantages of the Internet?

1.      Advantage 1:___________________________________________________

2.      Advantage 2:____________________________________________________

3.      Advantage 3:____________________________________________________

After you’ve planned out your arguments here, you’re ready to start writing.

Additional advice:

·         Be sure that every sentence has a subject and a verb.  Don’t forget that in English every sentence must have a verb.   For example “There lots of trouble.” is not a correct English sentence.  Instead make sure to say “There is lots of trouble.”

·         Make sure each sentence ends with a period.  The next sentence should start with a capital letter.

·         Don’t make your sentences too long.  Short sentences will often work best for this type of essay.  Also when you have a new subject, you should start with a new sentence.

·         Be sure and keep your pronouns consistent.  If you start out talking about “we” in the beginning of a sentence, don’t switch to “you” halfway through.

·         Make sure and indent your paragraphs (leave a space at the beginning of the first line of each paragraph.)

Below is the correct example of how paragraphs should be written.

The food of Cambodia includes tropical fruits, rice, noodles  and various soups. Cambodians like to eat a rice noodle soup called 'kah-tieu' in the morning. Cambodians are famous for a type of 'kah-tieu' called 'kah-tieu Phnom Penh' which has shrimp, beef balls, fried garlic, pork broth and chicken. Cambodians also eat a red curry noodle soup with rice vermiclle noodles. Curry is also eaten with rice or French bread in Cambodia. Cambodian food is similar to Chinese, Vietnamese  and Thai food.

Cambodia also has a mystical tattoo called a yantra tattoo that is popular with soldiers. A yantra tattoo has ancient Khmer and Pali(An ancient Indian language) writing. A yantra tattoo is usually done by a religious person or monk. The tattoo artist guarantees that the person cannot receive any physical harm as long as they follow certain conditions. A person is suppose to not talk to anyone for three days and three nights. Another alternative is to follow the five Buddhist percepts. Movie star actress Angelina Jolie is known to have a yantra tattoo.

The example below is incorrect.

The food of Cambodia includes tropical fruits, rice, noodles  and various soups. Cambodians like to eat a rice noodle soup called 'kah-tieu' in the morning. Cambodians are famous for a type of 'kah-tieu' called 'kah-tieu Phnom Penh' which has shrimp, beef balls, fried garlic, pork broth and chicken. Cambodians also eat a red curry noodle soup with rice vermiclle noodles. Curry is also eaten with rice or French bread in Cambodia. Cambodian food is similar to Chinese, Vietnamese  and Thai food.

Cambodia also has a mystical tattoo called a yantra tattoo that is popular with soldiers. A yantra tattoo has ancient Khmer and Pali(An ancient Indian language) writing. A yantra tattoo is usually done by a religious person or monk. The tattoo artist guarantees that the person cannot receive any physical harm as long as they follow certain conditions. A person is suppose to not talk to anyone for three days and three nights. Another alternative is to follow the five Buddhist percepts. Movie star actress Angelina Jolie is known to have a yantra tattoo.

Linking Words and Phrases

To introduce points:

·         One advantage/disadvantage of

·         A further advantage/disadvantage is

·         One point of view in favor of/or against

·         It can be argued that

To list points:

·         In the first place,

·         First of all,

·         To start with,

·         Firstly,/Secondly,/Thirdly,

·         Finally,

To add more points to the same topic:

·         What is more,

·         Also,

·         Furthermore,

·         In addition to this/that,

To make contrasting points:

·         On the other hand,

·         Although

·         However,

·         In spite of this/that,

·         Nevertheless,

·         Despite this/that,

·         Even though              

To introduce examples:

·         For example,

·         For instance,

·         In particular,

To conclude:

·         To sum up,

·         All in all,

·         In conclusion,

·         All things considered,

·         As was previously stated,

You may use these phrases when you write, but make sure to use them correctly.  For example remember that phrases used to make contrasting points (like “On the other hand”) are good to use at the beginning of a contrasting paragraph.  You shouldn’t use it in the middle of a paragraph.

This is correct:

            The Internet is useful for finding new information.

            On the other hand, the Internet can also waste a lot of time.

This is incorrect:

            The Internet is useful for finding new information.   On the other hand, the internet is also useful for keeping in touch with friends and family.

            Also remember that you can use “but” or “although” in a contrasting sentence, but don’t use both in the same sentence.

|These are correct sentences.

            Although I like pizza, I don’t like hamburgers.

            I like pizza but I don’t like hamburgers.

This is an incorrect sentence:

            Although I like pizza, but I don’t like hamburgers.